Her heart might have stopped a few times while she was fighting for her life. It might have stopped when she finally collapsed in front of that greenhouse, but she knew for a fact that it skipped a few beats when Lorcan admitted that she was always the right choice for her. There couldn’t be a girlfriend back in New Zealand if he was making such perfect claims just for her. There was no way that he would toy with her heart like that. Not her Lorcan. She had promised herself that she would only be with Lorcan if he gave her a second chance. When they danced together, she felt that spark again. The rest of the world fell away and so long as his arms were around her, she was safe. That night, she fought with Alex about it. Alex asked her if she still loved him, and Billie had to tell the younger Slytherin the truth. There would always be love there for the older Hufflepuff and nothing could ever change that.
“Lorcan, I can’t give you up again.” She hoped that he understood the weight of the words. If they were going to be together again, they had to actually work to make it work between them. They couldn’t just walk away because it got too difficult.

She tangled her fingers into his hair, leaning back so he was over her sore but willing body. A part of her had been terrified that he would pull away from her kiss, that he would tell her that while she was part of his life, she couldn’t be a romantic part of his life. All of those thoughts were pushed from her head when he ran his tongue over her full lip, practically begging to make the kiss deeper between them. Billie obliged with a soft moan and tried to get rid of the sheet that was separating them away from them. While she was far too sore to do anything like try to sleep with him, and they were still in the hospital wing, that didn’t matter. She just needed to feel him as close as possible to help herself remember that this was all real. She was really in a bed with Lorcan Xeno Scamander, her fingers in his hair, his tongue in her mouth coaxing all of those whimpers of need and hip movements of desire from the darker skinned girl. There was something about Lorcan that she was absolutely addicted to and now that she had a taste again, she would be hooked all over.

The kissing was passionate and desperate and wonderful. It felt like they were both trying to fit all of their months separated into a few seconds. If they didn't cool down, there was a very good chance that they would end up naked and her first time having sex in a hospital wing bed just because it was Lorcan and what else could be more perfect than the man of her dreams making her complete. She kissed him deeply, their tongues fighting each other, their lips crashing and now their hands were linked together. She looked into his all knowing eyes and smiled at him. Lorcan was her life, she was going to survive the new transformations and she would be able to deal with the scars and the agony, as long as she was able to have the comfort of his arms, it would be worth it.

Billie smiled at his beautiful words, hoping with all of her body that he would be able to prove that he was telling the truth. She snuggled against his chest, her lips still tingling from the intense kissing. She had never felt so warm and complete when she would curl up with Alex. There was always something off about it. Now she knew why. The wolf that she could always feel inside of her was tamed when Lorcan smiled at her. When he looked at her, it was like she was no longer a beast but a human again.
"They'll be pleased to find out I'm not dying." She heard the door to the head healer's office close, probably just had to get some paper work together for her attack. Billie was slightly worried about the school having to contact her mother over the attack. After everything that her mother went through just conceiving and keeping Billie, she couldn't put more on her mother.

"Staying at the school? I would love that." She would love to crawl into a bed with him every night. Get more of those kisses and more of the snuggles. She would only hope that the Longbottom's tendency for pregnancy wasn't engrained into the bed sheets. As much as she loved Lorcan, now was no where near the right time for a baby. They both had too much to do, and way too much to accomplish to toss it all away with the responsibilities of a baby before they were ready.
"Would I be able to stay there with you, or is that just an overload of time with me?"

Billie knew that most people were easily annoyed by Lorcan. That they thought he was too weird or too out there, but she loved it. She wouldn’t want him any other way, and she had a feeling that he felt that same about her. Billie was trusting, but also protective. She cared for her friends deeply, and it killed her when people mistook that for weakness. As much as she wanted Lorcan there forever, she had to admit to herself that it was impossible. He had an education to finish out and she couldn’t allow him to throw away all of those months of hard work on her. All of those nights studying just to show her that he cared about her. Many girls would die to have something like that happen, but Billie worried that it would make him resent her later.
“We can just leave it to be a surprise. I think that the healer staff is confidant in their own abilities to know I’m safe.”

Her lips were still tingling from his, it was a feeling she would love to bottle and just keep with her forever. She winced a little bit when he squeezed her, and knew that it was just out of love.
“I’m okay, I’m okay.” There was a little waver in her voice from the initial pain, but she could handle it. She smiled when he talked about the adventures that he wanted to go on with her, and she was excited for it. To get back into their roles as boyfriend and girlfriend together. They would explore the school, they would explore New Zealand. She would go through her new changes and then crawl into a bed with Lorcan and allow him to just hold her until all of the pain went away. She would take her wolfsbane potions, maybe even stay with him. They could run around the grounds of the school and play together. Getting used to their new dynamic, and partially so he could be used to seeing her in that form. She didn’t want to rub it into his face, flaunt the form so that he knew that he came too late to help her, but rather allow him to become comfortable with it. To see her content with her regular changes and not fear them.

“I’m sure your Uncle would be fine if he knew we were there together, but might be best. I’m not too keen on losing my virginity on the headmaster’s bed.” She wasn’t sure if he was still a virgin, or if some rebound in New Zealand stole that away, but she wanted to make sure that he knew she saved herself for him.

It was so tempting to just ask Lorcan to give up everything that he might have done already. To just give up on all of the credits that he already amassed and that he already worked so hard for. Billie knew that she had to tell him to leave, that she had to tell him that it was time to leave and pretend that it wouldn’t absolutely kill her. Lorcan was so amazing, he was so perfect and he loved her so completely. A little part of her mind was reminding her over and over again that he loved her now so completely. That he didn’t before. That if he had loved her so much then he wouldn’t have left her. The evil part of her brain that was reminding her that he would get some distance and remember all of the reasons why he wanted to break up with her. He would stay with her, and he would resent her for missing out on his future because of her. Either way, she knew that she would end up alone. Men as amazing as Lorcan didn’t end up with their silly Hogwarts girlfriends.

His sweet and comforting voice tried to coax her away from the angry whispers in the back of her mind. Having Lorcan wrap her up, it helped to make things feel a little bit better.
“New one, your Aunt and Uncle are having another baby?” She asked smiling, knowing that Headmaster Longbottom was an absolutely lovely father, one of the best that she had ever seen. She tried to pretend that if she had been able to have a real father, that he would have been something like Headmaster Longbottom. Her biological father was a horrible man, and her brothers’ father loved the boys, but never looked at Billie. He was convinced that her mother had an affair to conceive Billie and never believed her story that she had been raped.

“I’m happy for them, they’re wonderful parents.” She missed Lucy Longbottom the most. They had been close during her time at Hogwarts. The painter’s way of behaving had always made Billie smile and she loved watching her paint and work on her art. She yawned a little bit, still feeling exhausted from the attack but she didn’t want to close her eyes again. She wanted to hold onto the moment with him in her bed for as long as possible. Billie still wasn’t unconvinced that he would be there when she woke up.
“If I fall asleep, will I wake up and this had been all a dream?”