There was really no reason for to feel like this. Spending time alone wasn't something new and sometimes she enjoyed the solitude, some time spent without the typical hustle and bustle of the castle. Ella was never one to honestly care about other people and would have never felt it so painfully before. What was wrong with her? She didn't need other people, she was entirely dependent on herself and no one else. That's the way it had always been. Ballet was all she really needed. That and the occasional alcoholic beverage. Ballet and booze, everything a girl would ever want. Now she had friends and an ex boyfriend who was.. Merlin knows where..

Damn him. Damn that handsome bastard. Why had she fallen for it all? Ella should have known better, having watched other more susceptible girls fall for the lines of sweet nothings and crumble into their arms, begging for more lies, any lies, whatever they wanted for the taking with a muttering of "Please Master may I have some more." Why did she allow herself to fall for it? She should have known better, didn't she have a fleck of sense to fall so deeply in love with someone? The ballerina had seen him as a kindred spirit, an outcast with a strange outlook on the world, willing to accept her as damaged goods and love her despite of it. To save her, even when she had refused time and time and time again that she needed anyone's help. Who built her a dream studio, taught her how to ride a horse, even dealt with her stepfather. Sometimes, before she opened her eyes, she was back at his beautiful home in his bed wrapped in his arms. And she'll wake up and realize that she is alone in her bed and it was going to stay that way.

Was there anything else she could have done? The answer was always a resounding no but it didn't stop the thoughts from resurfacing. She was past the "bargaining phase" of the breakup but it was just a stray thought. Lily told her repeatedly that he was a complete ass in every way possible and that she never liked him anyway and that she was better off without him. Sure, but that doesn't make it feel any better.

And so Ella would throw herself headfirst into ballet, as she always had. Her technique had never been so clean and the reviews from the Nutcracker hailed her as a future force to be reckoned with. It was a great feeling but she would always keep working. Nothing better, when one hated their life and needed a distraction. Physical pain had always brought her back into herself and nothing was better than jumping and spinning on the tips of your toes tied into a satin slipper.

Her waist was wrapped up as she was looking down at her feet, checking her arch and the elasticity of her shoe and squealed. "

WHAT in the hell!" Ella turned her head to see who this was before she decided to ruin their day and was thankful for her caution. "CANDYMAN! How are you?" A smile spread on her face. "You're lucky I didn't kick your ass!"

It wasn't until Ella was wrapped in a tight hug that she realized that it was exactly what she needed. She squeezed her friend back enthusiastically, aware that it had been too long since the two of them had really seen each other. Both of them were faking their way through their classes and generally skipping out on the common room and now that the school was empty this was a nice surprise. "Ah, maestro!" A grin spread on her face as he twirled her around, hooking her leg behind his back for a moment before laughing. She didn't know how Bobby did it but she couldn't help but laugh whenever she was with him.

"I'm not sure, beneath that kind veneer lies Bruce Lee's reincarnate." Both of them were clearly worse for wear and it tugged on Ella's heartstrings. How had she missed that her friend was so blue? She had so easily believed him when Bobby told her, in passing, that he was fine. Similar lies were always slipping from her lips but she felt like a terrible person and a terrible friend, falling for a line she had used so often.

Ella stepped back a bit, brushing her flyaways from her face and bounced from foot to foot, rolling from her heels to the balls of her feet. "Nah, just wanted to... prove something to myself, I guess. I'll save that role for when I'm prima." A teasing smile found its way on her face. "Why, want to learn it? I think you'd make a brilliant Sugar Plum Fairy, we're looking for a ballerina and you'd look just dashing in a tutu."

How was she doing? The ballerina shrugged a little, feigning nonchalance. "Eh. You know. Same s**t, different day. Never ends." What was she supposed to say? That she was struggling? That much was apparent on her face but if there was anyone else who would understand how she felt it would be Bobby. "How about yourself?"

Ella giggled, the sound escaping her lips and surprising her. When was the last time she had allowed herself to giggle? That was never an option, before. Giggling went away with her ballet flats, when she left the hellhole that was her home and went to the rock. Something about it seemed to resonate throughout her entire being and it had always scared her. A sneer or a glare was quick and disconnected, a giggle involved her entire being. Mind and body, working against the veneer she had carefully constructed over the years. Ballet teachers seemed to appreciate how morose she seemed, the girl that could only express herself through her dance and took note, allowing her to participate in the school's productions long before students were typically allowed, leads handed to her without any worry. She knew she was still that girl but back then giggling would have never happened, no matter who it was she was talking to. Caine and Lily and Bobby and Hugo.. humanized her.

Whether or not that was a good thing was still to be determined. Caine had so thoroughly decimated her that Ella had practically cut her other friends out of her life, trying to avoid either the sympathetic look they gave her or to be hurt again. Definitely something her old psychologist would enjoy pointing out to her, the bastard that he was. "Oh, Bobby. Please don't make me add Bruce Lee to your ever-growing list of nicknames." Maybe it wasn't the best idea to push her friends away, she already felt worlds better from this minor conversation than she had almost all year of avoiding her friends.

Ella looked Bobby in the eye and nodded, allowing his comment to resonate for a few moments. "Preach it, sister." Who could possibly understand such a statement more than a fellow artist? The boy in front of her was a fantastic photographer, she had seen him sitting in the same uncomfortable position for hours on end, trying to get the best possible shot of whatever captured his fancy.

"Dreams really do come true!!" The ballerina applauded than rose en pointe, fluttering over towards him like a bird. "Oh what a remarkable fairy you make. All the ballet boys shall be so jealous when they see you decked out in tutu and tiara." Ella grabbed his hand and spun underneath it, using it to keep her balance. "Prettiest princess in the land!" And then came the giggles again.